Fate's Play
by Fialka
Summary: Fate plays in strangest ways. Find out how fate can play with you and how it played with my two favorite characters. This story is dedicated to ~*Cristyl Li*~. This fanfic is a pure MeiLi story!R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**_AUTHOR'S NOTES: YAY! Another MeiLi fanfic. From ME!!! Yep, me: cardcaptor girl. Ok, this fic is very special to me, because...I dunno...it's just special. I know that you'll love it. It might contain the tiny S+S themes, but its pure MeiLi and MeiLi only! By the way, I am using "Syaoran" name here, instead of "Li" and I do not own any of the characters, or CCS. (^_^) For all of you MeiLi fans out there. May the fate play gently with you._**

**_   I want to dedicate this story to ~*Cristyl Li*~. Thank you for inspiring me and hosting with me our wonderful new MeiLi shrine! The shrine is going to be huge with lots of fanfic and pictures and polls! So visit us at: www.meilinsyaoran.cjb.net ! _****_Okie-tokie! Here I come with my dearest MeiLi fanfic:_**

 **Syaoran: "cardcaptor girl, may I just say that you are a very wonderful and talented writer?"**

** cardcaptor girl: "Syaoran, dear, no matter what you say to me, I'll still make you French kiss with Meilin."**

** Syaoran: "But-but..."**

** cardcaptor girl: "No but's. You will do as I say, talk as I say and think as I say. Mwahahahahaha!"**

** Syaoran: "But..."**

** cardcaptor girl: "What? You want to say that you don't love Meilin?!!! HA???"**

** Syaoran: "No, God no! I never wanted to say that! I love her dearly, but...only as a cousin."**

** cardcaptor girl: "Awwwe! Isn't it sweet? They all say that before they come to _ME! Mwahahaha!"_**

** Syaoran: "I don't really think that I could love Meilin it that way. Ever."**

** cardcaptor girl *a la Eriol with that evil grin*: "We'll see about that..."**

 **Meilin: "cardcaptor girl, you are the best!"**

** cardcaptor girl *a la Monica Geller*: "I KNOW!!!" **

**Fate's Play**

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**                                                   Chapter 1:**

"When?" was the only thing she said after a long five minute pause.

"When what?" he knew perfectly well what she meant and tried his hardest to ignore the topic she started.

"When did you...find...s-someone else?" she could hardly say those words: *someone else*. They hurt so much. He paused for a moment.

 "It has been some time." he said gulping and hoping that she wouldn't figure out his little secret. But she already did. It could only be *her*.

 "Is it...HER?" the girl still managed to make out her sentence, because her heart was breaking down with little explosions as each moment passed by.

  "Who?" The amber-eyed boy tried to play dumb, but he couldn't keep it for long after he met her face expression, full of obvious knowledge. He dropped his gaze to the floor. "...Yes, it her." he replied quietly.

  "Well, what about us?" she knew what was about *us*. The raven-haired girl just needed to hear the answer from him.

  "There was never *us*, Meilin. There is *you* and there's *me*; but no *us*." He said patiently.

  "What?" she said shocked. She did not expect *this* from him. "How can you say such a thing? Don't I mean anything to you at all?"

  "You DO Meilin, just not in *that* way." The boy said, and another little explosion burst inside her heart. *That way*; she hated this expression so much! Now it was her time to gulp.

  "But-but this is, this is just temporary, right? You'll get over her; we can work this out." the girl smiled weakly, having a false hope.

  "Meilin, would you just listen to me? *WE* are never gonna happen!" he yelled at her in annoyance, but then he remembered that it must hurt her very much, so he apologetically looked at the girl. She was all shaking like a lone little flower in the harsh wind; any minute the flower was ready to break. "Listen Meilin, I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but it's just the way it is: you are not the one for me. But I want you to know that no matter what, I will always..." The phone ringing interrupted their conversation. The ruby-eyed girl slowly came over and picked it up:

 "Moshi-moshi, Li's residence." Then after a few moments she brought the phone to Syaoran. "Its her." the girl simply said and left the room.

 "Hello...Oh Hi Sakura..."

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 **_Three weeks later._**

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  "Mistress Li! The dinner is getting cold, come down here!" Wei called out for me from downstairs.

  "I'm coming! Just give me a sec!"

  "Hurry up, dear!"

   I gently brushed the raven tails of my hair with my fingers and looked in the mirror. In the mirror I saw the same thing I saw this morning, the same thing I saw yesterday and the day before. The lifeless body, like a zombie. All of my spirit faded a long time ago. People in school noticed that and began to worry about me, but I told them it was nothing. Nothing. That's exactly what I am right now; a big nothing. **_The Meilin Li is long gone; she's been gone for about three weeks now and I don't really think she's coming back. _**

  I don't care about the school, martial arts or life itself anymore. And it's all because of him. Syaoran. My one true love, which left me, without really even being with me. 

  I cried a for LONG time, but then I stopped. All emotions have vanished from me. I am trying to be as cheerful as I can be with my friends and Wei... and Syaoran, but it's not enough. I told Syaoran that I am moving on, but let's face it: how can I be moving on if most of the day I spend in my room, staring at the wall with a blank face.

  "Mistress Li! Are you coming?" Wei asked as he entered my room.

  "Yeah, I am." I said happily and smiled. I am considering on becoming an actress someday.

  "Okay, then let's go." we both exited room and went downstairs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

  Wei and I came in the dining room. The table was served and everything smelled lame, at least for me. But I needed to let them know opposite.

  "Ahh! It smells great! Wei, did you cook everything by yourself?"

  "Of course, Mistress Li." Sometimes I hate when he calls me that: *mistress*. It's so...queen like. I asked him once not to call me that, but he said that it is the rule: for him to call me - Mistress and Syaoran - Master. 

  "I can't wait to eat it." I said as I sat at the table. Syaoran was already there, sitting and reading newspaper. He didn't even bother to take a look at my side. 

   Syaoran and I didn't talk too much since three weeks ago. I personally think that it's the best for both of us. I need some space for my thoughts and he needs the space without me in it. I still have no idea how I've survived these past couple of weeks: seeing Syaoran everyday, living in the same house with him, knowing that it's all over, (not that there was anything to be over for). And also knowing that Sakura is the one, who's responsible for making Syaoran happy and blushed-faced.

  I let out a deep loud sigh. Syaoran took his eyes away from the newspaper he was reading and looked at me. 

  "Meilin? Are you okay?"  He said looking at me across the table. 

  "Yes, I am." No, I'm not.

  "Then what's up with all the sighing?"

  "Oh, just you know...school work, homework...," *YOU*... "I am kind of tired today, that's all." I smiled widely at him and he continued reading his newspaper. Syaoran can be such a fool sometimes, and I thank him for that; otherwise he would figure out that I am far from getting over him.

  "All right, Master and Mistress Li let us begin our dinner ceremony." Said Wei and the three of us stood up in front of table. Syaoran put down his newspaper. I hate the pre-dinner ceremonies, but I am a Li clan member, so I have to follow them. The three of us started saying our speech:

  "Oh the mighty Li clan, the mightiest of all clans, the most powerful clan of magic and wisdom shall be as powerful and strong bonded as it was centuries ago. Li clan, the clan which is free from enemies and sins shall be the ruler of magic on earth as it always was and always will be as so said the mightiest of them all: THE Clow Reed." I wanna die right now. This little speech is really getting on my nerves. The words haven't changed even a bit for the last two hundred years. I have no doubt that most of the Li clan members hate it too, but this speech is a tradition, and the "mighty" Li clan always follows the traditions. 

  The three of us sat in our chairs and began eating. No one spoke a word, which was very rare at our table. The silence was uncomfortable for all of us. Wei was very worried that something happened between me and Syaoran, but the old man didn't dare to ask us. He still decided to make us speak to each other.

  "Master Li, how was your day?" Wei asked cautiously. Syaoran shrugged.

  "Nothing much Wei. It was a regular day." Syaoran said and continued eating.

  "And Mistress Li, how was your day?"

  "Oh, mine was the same as Syaoran's, regular."    

  "I see..."

  "How was your day, Wei?" I inquired.

  "Everything went fine for me too. Master Li, has you magic improved yet?"

  "I am working on it, but the school work leaves me less concentrated with my training. The new levels of magic are hard to control, so something always goes wrong with my spells." I sighed quietly at his comment. I wish **_I had magic to control over. It would help me to cast some kind of a spell to get over Syaoran. But I don't have any magic whatsoever and that's a shame. _**

  "Do not worry, Master Li. I'm sure you'll improve shortly." Li nodded thankfully to Wei. The silence filled the room once more. I almost finished with my dinner and the torture of seeing Syaoran today, when Wei decided to continue the conversation. To my bad luck it had to be- "If I may ask, Master Li, how is you relationship with the Card Mistress going?"

  Oh no. 

 Syaoran definitely did not expect this from Wei. His face turned deep crimson color and he gulped loudly. 

  "Well...I...we...I..." It was very uncomfortable for Syaoran to talk about him and Sakura with Wei and in front of – whom else, but me! I could tell he was getting nervous.

  But the old man Wei didn't mean to ask "Master Li" about his love life. Wei only meant to ask Syaoran about his friendship with Sakura, because they weren't really good friends as a result of the Clow Cards quest's rivalry. It has been a while since The Final Judgment and Syaoran/Sakura friendship was progressing REALLY fast. They didn't have a reason to be rivals anymore. Syaoran however, took Wei's question differently: it might be because his dear "cherry blossom" is the only thing that's on his mind lately. Most likely it is.

  "I...well...she...we are..." Syaoran mumbled quietly, still trying to make out the sentence and blushing furiously. Wei waited for him patiently.

That's it! I can't take this anymore! I can't just sit around here and listen about Syaoran's love life with Kinomoto! I have to find the way to get out of here. I suddenly got up from my chair startling them, and practically ran to the other side of our gigantic kitchen. What am I doing? I could feel Syaoran running after me. I don't really know what Wei did at that time.

 "Meilin wait, I didn't mean to...-would you stop running?" I felt his hand pressed gently against my shoulder. I stopped and he turned me around looking me right into the eyes. I felt myself melting under his gaze, but kept it under control...just like I did a minute ago? Huh? What am I going to say to him? I can't let him think that I am a helpless little creature with strong feelings of never ending crush! "I'm sorry. I must have hurt your feelings," yeah, you MUST have. I kept myself silent. "I promise that I won't do it again. You're probably not over me yet, right? I'm so very sorry...Would you please return to the dining table?" he looked at me pleadingly. I still didn't say a word. I can't let him think that I'm weak, that I am a little...hey! I know what to do.

 "Of course I will return to the table Syaoran," I heard him let out a relieved sigh. "right after I will wipe away that pool of water, which is dripping from the sink." I said in a *cool* voice.

 "What?" he was surprised.

 "That." I pointed my finger at the huge water puddle, which formed right beneath the kitchen sink. "I ran over there, because I wanted to quickly wipe up the water, that's all." I explained happily and smiled at him. Luck is on my side today. God bless this wonderful leaking sink! I am saved.

 "Oh," he said "I thought that you got mad..." 

 "Syaoran," I interrupted him. "I thought I already told you that I am totally and completely over it." I am such a good liar! Applause to me!

 "Oh," he said again "I'm sorry."

 "No need for that, now would you help me with that huge pool of water?" Syaoran nodded.

 "Master and Mistress Li, is everything ok?!" Wei called out for us from the other part of kitchen room. The kitchen was a double room. One half of it was meant for cooking and the other for eating.

 "Yes!" we both answered back loudly enough so he could hear us.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

  It has been a couple of hours after the dinner and I was in my room, sitting and staring at the wall in front of me with a blank face. Again. Gloomy me. I have nothing to do for the rest of the day anymore and it's too early to go to sleep. 

  Normally, I would practice martial arts with Syaoran at this time, but I haven't done this with him since he told me about Kinomoto and his "never-ending-love" towards her. It's better for me though, because I have to face him less than usual, which means I have less acting to do. It's been easy for me to act in front of him, like I'm crazy-happy all the time, but sometimes he can detect a sad note in my voice. Up until now I was able to hide my depression from him, and kill his suspicion with some cheesy comments, but I don't think it will last long. However, it might go either way. I'll get over him soon and my depression will fade away; either it will get worse and worse, until I will break down with tears right in front of him. Two ways, and to be honest, I fear it will be the second one. 

 I think Wei suspects that something isn't quite right with me, but I just talk to him once in a while and make him believe that everything couldn't be much better for me as it is. I hope he believes me; at least he looks like he does. I will try my hardest to keep up the "Happy-Meilin-Rae" spirit. It's better for everyone not to know. If I would act broken-hearted with Syaoran, then he and everybody else would worry about me all the time, and worse: they would all pity me until the end of my days. No, I don't want that.

 I heard a quiet knock on my door. Oh no. I just know it's him, Syaoran. Even if Wei comes to my room more often than him, I can just feel that it's Syaoran. I can't explain it, but I know it.

 "Meilin, can I come in?" double *oh no*. See? It's him – Syaoran. If he sees me staring at the wall like that, then I'm toast. Okay, okay, I will play the *I-have-a-life* game again.

 I took a book, a pen and went to open the door. Click of the door and I see Syaoran staring at me with his killer amber eyes, which are starting to melt me down again.

 "Yes?" I say, while pretending to be very interested in the book I'm carrying.

 "Oh...I didn't know you were busy... sorry." Syaoran looked at me apologetically.

 "Oh, don't worry; I'm not that busy. Come in." I waved him to come in and we both sat on the couch near my desk.      "So...what did you...why did you..." I felt running out of words. I desperately wanted just to ask why did he come here, but that would be kind of rude, so I just silenced myself.

 "Oh, I well...I came here to talk." *sit down kiddies, its time for THE TALK* I want to kill myself right now. The last thing I need is to talk to him at this very time.

 "So...about what?" An innocent question usually brings to the execution itself.

 "I'm not really sure about what, I just wanted to talk to you; do you mind?" Yes I do.

 "No, not at all. Let's talk."

 "Don't you think we haven't been talking a lot lately since you know...that day?" Oh, here it comes. 

 "Yes, we sure haven't..." I nodded furiously.

 "Do you want to talk about it?" Kill me, kill me now.

 "I-uh, well...maybe; I don't know, do you?" How long can I keep this up? He shrugged his shoulders. HE SHRUGGED! I'm saved; maybe we don't have to talk about it! I'm saved!

 "Well, actually," ...maybe not... "I wanted to discuss something with you about our engagement."

 "What about it?"

 "Well...since you know..." Syaoran paused for a moment, as if he was getting ready to give me the worst news of my life. "we need to break it off." he finally made out. That's when usually mountains collide. 

 "What?" ok, I am feeling dizzy now and my eyes beginning to mist – not a good sign. That is so very disturbing. Oh, Meilin, please don't start crying. When he'll leave you will cry as much as you want, but not now. Please not now.  

 "Meilin, are you ok?" DO I LOOK LIKE I'M OKAY? Hold it in, Meilin, hold it in.

 "Sure, I am."

 "Well, you don't look like you're okay." YA THINK?

 "No, I mean yes, I am all right, I mean I was expecting this. Totally. I mean if we broke up that would mean...not that we were involved or anything...I h-have to go to the bathroom now, I think the dinner upset my stomach."...did I just do this? I quickly walked out of my room towards the bathroom. Syaoran was soundless. He kept still on the couch. Thank God he didn't go after me, or otherwise he would see me with lots of tears running down my face. He wants to break off our engagement? How pathetic was I thinking he wouldn't do that? And my reaction could have been better; at least in front if him. Now I will have to fully explain this act to him and to myself.

TO BE CONTINUED...

**_AUTHOR'S NOTES: So? How was it? I know, I usually like to leave you readers on a cliffhanger, but it didn't turn out the way I thought it would. I'm thinking...5-7 chapters for this story. Dear _****_pnkngrn3_****_, thank you for dedicating a fanfic to me, I'm very honored. The next fic I'll write, it will be fully dedicated to you! People, please READ and REVIEW! So I would know if anybody read my story! This story won't be a lame one, I promise, because I don't do a "Soap Opera" type of fanfics. It will be intriguing and sweet. The whole idea of the story didn't even start yet. But it will in the next chapter. My dearest S+S fans! By the request of someone I know, I will write an S+S story too. But it will be later. Much later. So long everybody! BYE! READ & REVIEW!_**

**                                                                                     Sincerely yours, cardcaptor girl!**


	2. Chapter 2

**_AUTHOR'S NOTES: Yeah, hi! It's me – cardcaptor girl! I am sorry that I made you wait for this chapter so long, but I had a LOT of homework to do, so couldn't write anything for a long time, but do not worry!(^_^) I'm not dead! I am very alive and ready to continue the enormous number of MeiLi fanfics! (Oh, by the way, my dear S+S fans, my Muse is doing great work lately, I am VERY inspired so don't worry: I HAVE A_****_ LOT MeiLi fanfics coming. MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!)_**

 **_Allrighty, now I am continuing with the next chapter of my newest story "Fate's Play" which is fully dedicated to one of my favorite writers:_****_ ~*Cristyl Li*~. Dear Cristyl, now for you I have a little neatly written message:_****_ WOULD YOU PLEASE POST MORE MEILI FANFICS? PLEASE???!!! TELL ME, WOULD YOU WANT ME TO DIE?!? HA? IF NOT, THEN PPPPPPPPLLLLLLLEEEEEEAAAAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEEE _****WRITE SOMETHING****_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hehe...(^_^) did I get to you?..._**

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******_Fate's Play_**

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**_                                                                           Chapter 2:_**

** Five minutes later I walked out of the bathroom all refreshed and "happy". When I walked into my room, Syaoran wasn't there. Thank goodness. I feel better already. Now what should I do? Stare at the wall for the rest of the evening or just go to sleep right away? Or maybe I could-... what is this? I turned around at the sudden noise I heard behind me. There was no one in the room. I went over to the door and closed it. There was that noise again...Where was it coming from? I felt a slight spook in my body, but then I remembered that life is not that interesting, so I might as well ignore the strange noise and go to b- There it is again! It's coming from my bed!**

  Slowly I came over to my bedside and bent down to look what's under it. There was...my long forgotten "Allison In Wonderland" book, a pair of slippers and gray dust. Okay, so I wasn't cleaning under my bed for sometime, but there was nothing supernatural there. Maybe it's just me, maybe I am paranoid freak.

  I heard that quiet noise again, and now I was pretty sure that I wasn't paranoid and this noise was definitely coming from above. I got up from the floor and looked up at the ceiling, but I found nothing unnatural there. Where the hell is it coming from? Suddenly, in the corner of my eye, I saw something bright was glowing in the middle of my bed. 

 Magic.

 That's what it was. Magic. Oh, then there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering my family it isn't unnatural. I came over to my bed again. Closer and closer, until my legs were attached to the bedside. Now, the glowing slowly started to fade away. When it was gone, the only thing that was left on my bed was a letter. A letter? Why do I suddenly feel like I'm in the world of Harry Potter?...A letter...?

**_  Cautiously I unfolded the letter, fearing it could be something dangerous (Li clan has some enemies too), but as I opened the neatly folded piece of paper, there was nothing, but a text. The ink was made of gold and paper was made out of finest wood. Yes, my dear family is reach enough to send these kinds of letters._**

     Sitting down on my bed, I turned on some more light and concentrated on the beautiful text:

                      _"Dear Miss Li Meilin._

_                                        We are pleased to tell you that you have been invited_

_                       to the "Carnival of Magic", which is going to happen this Friday,_

_                      at seven o'clock in the evening and end at twelve o'clock. This _

_                      "Carnival of Magic" is a Li, Yoturu and Rinohu clans' tradition._

_                                  The "Carnival of Magic" is_

_                      a tradition, which Li, Yoturu and Rinohu clans celebrate every twenty_

_                     five years as a symbol of a great friendship and piece between the clans._

_                     We are hoping that you could come and cerebrate with us this great union of _

_                    the clans._

_                     However, there's a famous "Carnival of Magic" traditions, which _

_                     everyone should follow in order to be at the celebration. We understand_

_                     that you have never been at such a celebration before, so in your favor we_

_                     shall list the tradition rules of "Carnival of Magic". The rules are:_

_1.) __You have to wear an evening dress, which is supposed to be long,_

_until the floor. _

_                    2.)  If you are involved in a relationship, then you shouldn't come to the _

_                          "Carnival of Magic", for this celebration may involve romance._

_                    3.)  Since you are a part of the clan Li, then you shall recognize _

_                           faces of other people from your clan; therefore our powerful magic _

_                           shall erase the memories of people's faces for this evening only, so that_

_                          you won't have to wear a mask at the "Carnival of Magic". There is _

_                           one "but", however. Those persons' faces, who you will see at the _

_                          "Carnival of Magic" will also be erased after the carnival itself. _

_                           That way you will **never know what person you were talking to,**_

_                           even after the "Carnival of Magic". _

_                     4.)  In the great tradition of the "Carnival of Magic" you cannot _

_                           reveal your true name to anyone, at the "Carnival of Magic"._

_                    5.)  To come to the "Carnival of Magic" you will use this letter. _

_                          The "Carnival of Magic" will be set in the other dimension,_

_                         as so decided the mighty clans Yoturu, Li and Rinohu. At exactly_

_                         seven o'clock in the evening, Friday, this letter shall open up_

_                          the portal to the other dimension, when the "Carnival of Magic" _

_                         will be held. That is the only way you can arrive to the carnival._

_                                                       ________________________

_                      We beg you to excuse us for such an inconvenience, if some of the _

_                   carnival rules might stop you from coming to the "Carnival of Magic",_

_                     but the rules are the great traditions of the clans Yorutu, Li and Rinohu._

_                  The great magic of the clans shall support the "Carnival of Magic"._

_                   Please, enjoy yourself, for if you are happy, we are happy. And let us cerebrate_

_                   the great Li, Rinohu and Yoturu clans' biggest tradition!_

_                                                          Sincerely, Li Clan Leader._

_                         P.S.: If you will decide not to come to the "Carnival of Magic" _

_                   (which would be a shame), then you have no need to inform us about it."_

...Umm...I- I didn't actually think that our clan could do such a great magic. Wow, oh wow. To deal with lot's of peoples' memories like that, and to create another dimension...That takes a ton of magical powers. I wish I could do one millionth of all the magic *they* can do. 

  And wait...I think I've heard the story of this kind of carnival a long time ago from my father. But it was such a long time ago, that I didn't actually think this story was real. As it turns out it is. The *great* tradition of clans: Yorutu, Rinohu and Li *does* exist. Just think of it...the great "Carnival of Magic"...I wonder what it would be like to...

  Yes, and the big question of the day would be: "If I should go to this "Carnival of Magic?" Well let's see: I have just a right dress for such an occasion, and I am not involved in a relationship, so the answer would be *no*. I can't come there...because...because...ooooohhhhhh! I don't even have a good reason not to come to this fabulous carnival, where I would have lots and lots of fun! But...I couldn't possibly...I mean not that I...but maybe I could just...I'm not sure that...but still I could...Uhh, forget it Meilin, you're not going anywhere since you lost all the interest in your life for the past three weeks, what good would this pathetic little party do to you? Better you just stay where you are, in your dim-dim room and stare at the wall for a couple of hours. And *THAT* will do to you more good, than this stupid carnival.

  All right, now that I've solved this problem, I have to solve another. Syaoran. I have to talk to him, as much as I hate to do it. I need to explain myself to him and to return him this – I took off the beautifully made silver ring off my finger. I remember that day...the day he gave me this...

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_FLASHBACK~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

_"Meilin...Meilin...where are y-" the boy didn't get the chance to finish his sentence, because of the certain little girl, who jumped on him from behind. The little boy almost lost his breath and balance, when he felt her arms tightly wrapped around his neck and shoulders._

_"Hiiiiii Syaoran! There you are!!! I missed you sooo much!" The little girl exclaimed._

_"You...h-have seen...m-m- me just a c-couple of hours ago... and g-get off of me..."_

_"Oh, but I love you so much!"_

_"Meilin...please...I really need you to get off of me...I can't breathe..." The little girl finally gave up and let him go. The little boy turned to her and looked at the little girl seriously. "I need to talk to you Meilin."_

_"Oh really?!! Well what is it? What? I want to know! Tell me!"_

_"Would you be patient, please?"_

_"All right, but hurry please! I want to know everything that my Syaoran wants to tell me!"_

_The six year old Syaoran had to do the hardest thing yet. Never in his life he thought of doing it, but the boy had to do what Elders told him, otherwise he wouldn't be able be the Clan Li Leader. Little Syaoran remembered what his mother told him: ~* If you want to be more grown up to become strong and be the future Li Clan Leader – then you have to start doing grown up things. That means, you have to choose your future wife.*~ _

_ And Meilin was the only girl he knew, besides his sisters. Little Syaoran had no choice, but to propose to her. He knew: he had to be a real grown up, even if that would mean to do silly things like marriage proposal. Of course Syaoran had no doubt that Meilin would accept it, and be ecstatic following him for the rest of his life._

_ As much as he hated to do this...he had to._

_"Well, Syaoran. What is it you wanted to tell me?"_

_"Meilin," the young boy took a deep sigh. He knew there was no other way around this. _

_"Yes?" Little Syaoran slowly got down on his knee and-_

_"Will you marry me?" He brought out a delicately made silver ring in his hand._

_"OH SYAORAN!!!!! I can't believe this!!! Oh of course I will marry you!" The little girl was so happy, that her heart almost jumped out from all the excitement. She quickly took the ring and put in on her finger. Then, Meilin threw herself into his embrace...well; actually she was the only one embracing. Syaoran sweat dropped and tried his best to pull away from the annoying little Meilin._

_"M...Meilin...you're...doing it...ag-gain...I need...to...b-breathe..." Meilin obeyed again and released the poor little boy from her grip._

_"Oh Syaoran, you have no idea how happy I am!" she smiled and tried to embrace him again, but Syaoran had the chance to move away this time. Seeing this brought the mark of sadness and disappointment to the little Meilin's face. "Why Syaoran? Aren't you as happy as I am?" Syaoran desperately wanted to tell her that he was against the whole marriage idea in the first place; but then he stopped himself, remembering what his mother told him._

_"Yeah...I guess...I am happy after all...I have to go study now..." Syaoran sighed and started walking his way out of the hall room, leaving the little Meilin alone; jumping with joy, full of happiness. _

_      _

                                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Yes, that day was the best ever...I wonder if he did really want to propose me, or was it something else? Why is he in love with Kinomoto, when *he* was the one who proposed me? Love can't just go away like that.

  Oh, what am I talking about! Syaoran told me that he never really loved me *that way*. And if I am going to say *that way*- word again, I will throw up. 

_  Maybe I better find that out from him, because if I won't, then this thought of Syaoran long-time-ago proposal will be in my head forever._

  I got up from my bed and walked out of the bedroom, shutting the light off. The hallway of our little mansion is colored in beautiful yellow and whitish color; but when these two colors combined, they look so dull on the wall that it feels like I am not in the house, but in some kind of a good furnished dump. Oh how many times have I asked Wei to let me redecorate our mansion! But he just won't listen! 

  I knocked three even times at the dark wooden door. The person on the other side definitely heard me and he was going right towards the door to open it. For a moment I reconsidered my desire to talk to Syaoran about things, but it was too late to go away:

  "Meilin...um...c-come in..." Syaoran said in a bit of a shaky voice. I paused.

  "…Syaoran?" I looked at him with the worry.

  "What!..." he snapped at me. I must admit that I was quite shocked at his sudden yelling. But then his expression softened. "I-I mean come inside...sorry." I nodded in acceptance of his apology and slowly came into the room.

  "Syaoran, is this a bad time? Because if it is I could jus-"

  "No, no, it is not a bad time - it's just me…" he muttered to himself quietly, but loud enough for me to hear while I went inside of his room.

  "Syaoran, is something bothering you? Something wrong?" I looked at him with a pitiful expression.

  "NO! THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME, ALL RIGHT?!!" Syaoran looked at me angrily, I felt that my heart leapt at such a yelling. For the first time in the last couple of weeks, I needed to cry like never before. But I wasn't going to show Syaoran that I am a whiny-cry-baby, who looks for the reason to cry in every word spoken, so I just turned around and started leaving.

  "I am sorry, I think this is not the best time, Syaoran." At that time I felt something incredibly hot gripping my arm. Slightly wincing, I turned around and found Syaoran staring at me, while his hand was tightly wrapped around my arm. His hand was so hot, I could almost feel the burn on my skin. A pleasant kind of burning was making me feel safe, and melting my heart away. Then, Syaoran spoke, very quietly:

  "Meilin, I-I…forgive me, I haven't been myself lately, maybe because there's so much going on in my life right now, or maybe I am just scared to have more responsibility than I can take…" he took a deep sigh. I could understand him instantly, we are all teenagers plus it is all too much to keep up with the world, while magic is involved. And I also felt proud for myself, because there are not too many people, to whom Syaoran can confess about his scare of life.

  "Do not worry about anything Syaoran, take one step at a time and I am sure that everything will be all right. We all have our hard times…" I said sighing and thinking of my *oh-so-ever-big-love* towards him. "Just remember Syaoran, you are only fourteen years old, and you can afford to make a mistake once in a while." Although I can't afford one myself…

  "I am almost fifteen now and that adds more responsibility, doesn't it?" He frowned, and I nodded at his statement, smiling.

  "Yes, it does and that's why I am so happy that my fifteenth will not be any time soon."

  "Don't count on it," Syaoran said chuckling playfully, "you are not that much younger than me you know."

  "Am too, or at least we have eleven months difference. Ha!" I laughed out loud, this time for real. For the first time in a long while I really laughed. And worst of them all: Syaoran was the guilty one for making me feel better for at least a couple of seconds; only he could do that, only he could make me smile even at worst of the times. Thanks to him I just might not stare blankly at the wall for the rest of the tonight.

  "I wouldn't bet on it girl, you will be as old as dry prune by the time you reach your fifteenth…" there was a light silence and the we burst out laughing like crazy. I felt my stomach do a chao-bambino dance from all the laughter. 

  "Yes, I might be looking like a dry prune, but you will not be looking better than Snow White's oldest dwarf, my dear grandpa." We both laughed at the comment for about a minute and then were stopped by an awkward silence embracing us. There was no word to be said, and neither of us wanted to say anything, as much as neither one wanted to move first.

  Soon, Syaoran decided to say something. I could see he was a bit annoyed about the uncomfortable silence between us.

  "Uh…Meilin…well…you wanna, maybe…umm…sit down or something?" he gestured me at his couch, but I shook my head.

  "Actually I came here to talk to you…" I paused: should I do it? Or will it lead me to even more uncomfortable situation? Do I even have a choice? Well I can't just not talk about anything, because Syaoran is already waiting for my reply…should I?

  "Meilin?" I snapped out of my trance.

  "Yeah um…" Okay girl, its now, or never. "I wanted to…you know…finish out talk earlier." I said quietly.

  "Oh that reminds me: how are you feeling? Did you throw up?" I raised my eyebrow in response, questioning.     "…You…remember you didn't feel well after the dinner?" And then it ringed the bells.

  "Oh! Of course I am better, everything is great, don't worry about me." Gosh, I almost forgot! Syaoran looked at me suspiciously, but then a small smile plastered across his face:

 "Good, now what did you want to talk to me about?"

 "Oh yes, about earlier…" I paused again, unsure.

 "Well?" Syaoran said impatiently.

 "I - I…"come on Meilin! Do it! He has to think that you are over with him! DO IT! "I – I t-think that it was a good idea for us to break off the engagement, so here…" with that I handed him that silver ring I cherished so much! I had to give up this ring to him, because he would think as if I really didn't make a big deal about our engagement.

 "Meilin…I…" he eyes widened in amazement as he took the ring and examined it. Syaoran, then looked directly at me. "I don't, I mean I am…not really sure what to say…except for…you know you didn't really have to…it was my gift to you…" he bowed his head down as if…regretting something? 

"That's okay, I'm not really sure I can wear it now," I took a deep sigh, "or ever…"

"I am sorry, but I just…" Syaoran didn't finish, he just slowly paced to his couch, I followed him patiently.

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Syaoran; nor do you have to explain anything to yourself." I watched him silently: head still down, I know he's feeling guilty, but I will make it as less painful for him as possible.

  Suddenly he looked up at me, a little smile in a corner of his mouth.

 "You really *got* over me, didn't you." Syaoran says after a minute of silence. I looked up at him calmly, my plan worked like a charm.

 "Of course silly, as I told you, remember?" Unaware of myself, I touch his hand and instantly realize what I've just done, so I quickly take my hand away and try my best not to look at him. But I fail: he turns me around to look at him.

  He looked at me.

  I hate that.

  I **_love_** that and I love him; but I hate the fact that I love, what I can't have: his gentle smiles, his warmest hands and his piercing eyes, which melt me down slowly, as if torturing and testing my self-control on purpose. 

  Suddenly, Syaoran puts his hands on my shoulders and I feel uneasy.

 "Are you happy, Mei?" Awe! His pet name for me! Syaoran stopped calling me 'Mei' a long time ago; I've missed it so much! Even though I am partly happy right now, I still don't feel like things are in their rightful places.

  Thank goodness he let go of my shoulders, because if he held on to me any moment longer, my knees would turn into jelly.

 "Syaoran, I have to ask you something." Deciding the best way to approach it would be by first: avoiding his question, and second: avoiding his eyes; I will ask him the question I've been dreading and waiting for years to hear. Only now I realize how much do I need an answer to this particular question.

 Syaoran looks at me questionably, with a slight flicker of interest.

 "I wanted to ask you something…" I pause, having last thought of what I will now SURELY have to ask. "Syaoran…tell me, that day…" suddenly I feel his breathing stopped, as well as my heart, but I have to continue. "The day, in a hall room, back when were six, remember?…" I awaited for about a second to see a reply from Syaoran. He merely nodded in agreement. I then continued. "Well that day…when you proposed to me…I wanted to know, did you…did…you…" I thought I couldn't take it anymore, I thought of leaving this damned room as fast as I possibly could, so that I wouldn't have to hear 'the reply'. I already knew the truth, but I needed to hear him say it. "Syaoran did you love me back then?" Muttering it so quickly I could tell he barely understood what I said.

There was a silence, a deep one. Syaoran could hardly register what I just said to him, because there was no point in re-asking the question; the question was direct. The poor thing was startled so much, he didn't know what to do or say for a while. Then, several seconds later he spoke up:

 "Do…do you want me to lie?" he said, looking in my eyes. I already knew the answer, now I was sure of it, but I still needed to hear it from him.

 "No." 

 "Meilin I-"

 "Please tell me the truth Syaoran, I need to know." I felt my eyes getting hot and misty. Syaoran took a deep sigh.

 "I was forced to choose upon my future wife when I was six. My mother told me it would be a grown up thing to do. I wanted to be a grown up, so I asked the only girl I knew…you… I desperately wanted to become a future leader of the clan; that's all I cared about." I felt as I have been slapped. That's all I was to him – a girl, not even a friend. A girl, who he chose to be his future wife; not because I was a friend, but just because I was the only girl he knew! Not even a friend…all of my dreams, fantasies…it's all have been…a lie?

  But Syaoran didn't stop then:

 "I thought you already knew the truth, Meilin…" As much as I wanted to run to hell away from here, from him, I wanted to hear him say it, so that my heart would be fully broken (not that it wasn't already broken).

 "You still didn't answer my question." I said, very aware of my unsteady, shaky voice. He hesitated and turned away from me.

 "I'm sorry Meilin, I can't  make myself feel something I don't feel…the answer is NO." That was it. The final shot, a direct hit to my heart. I felt as if I was slapped for the second time, only it was harder and more painful.

 "…I see…" There wasn't really a point of saying that – I already knew the answer a long time ago…but…this time, facing the truth…I can't bare to take it all in one moment. Without saying anything else, I just leave quietly, swallowing my sobs, afraid of my every step: for it will make me burst in to tears in front of Syaoran. And I don't want that.

 Syaoran did not love me… He really didn't… Never did, never does, and never will…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_Friday, five o'clock._

 The engagement…the love…it was all a lie…and the worst part was: I knew it all along. I just didn't want to admit it, didn't want to face the truth of who I really was. A girl. That's who I was – just a girl; no, I am NOT mentioning the word *friend* here. Just a girl – that's all I really was to him.

 A piece of trash.

 A toilet seat.

 An old thing, waiting to get thrown out on a dump.

   I can sit throughout the whole evening, counting the things I am to Syaoran. The Hell! I am all those things to everybody! Just an annoying bitch, who faced the truth of who she really is.  

   Syaoran and I didn't talk much since three days ago, but I keep myself busy thinking I'll get over it…someday…maybe…in a week for instance…no, in a month…a year is more plausible…in three years…never…

   Wei tried to make us talk to each other again, and when I couldn't take it anymore, I just told him to piss off. I was rude – once again, and to whom? To Wei, the only person who has a slightest idea of what I am going through right now, the real friend. My guardian, I love him so much! He reminds me of my grandpa, when he was alive. Grandpa always understood me, unlike anyone else. Wei is everything I could ever want for a parent: he is my mother, father, grandparent…I just hope he understands why I yelled at him like that…I didn't mean to, I really didn't – it just came out; and all because of that damn Syaoran! Oh, I wish I could hate him! But, no worries Meilin, you are already close to hating h-

I heard some voices in the hallway. With curiosity piercing me, I moved closer to the door of my room and leaned my head to listen to a definite conversation    

"…But Master Li! What about your practice?"

"Wei, can't I just for once have a free time? Just once?"

"Your Mother strictly informed me not to let you skip your training, and I cannot disobey her."

"Wei, please! I beg you! You don't have to tell Mother!"

"What will you want me to do then, Master? Lie?"

"You won't have to lie Wei, you just won't have to tell her the truth, about where I went." 

"I don't know…"

"But please Wei! I promise that tomorrow I will train twice, or if you want it: thrice as much to cover up for today."

"Master Li, are you sure you want to do this?"

"I've never been more sure; I have been waiting my entire life for this to happen. I just knew somehow that my prayers will be answered!"

"Well, Master Li, as you wish; however I will not lie to your Mother. You know, if I were you, I would follow Meilin's example – I would train harder to improve myself quicker."

"Oh yeah! Meilin! I almost forgot about her! Please do not tell her where I'm going, she might get upset because no one invited her. Please don't tell her."  

"Well what should I tell her then?"

"I don't know, make up something."

"Master Li, do you want me to lie to the Mistress?"

"Again Wei, you don't have to lie to anybody; you just don't tell Meilin the truth. See? It is not exactly *lying*." 

"Are you sure, Master Li? Maybe you could tell her this yourself, and not put me in between you two."

"I don't think I could talk to her, especially not right now and **not** about this. Wei, please, I beg you to do me a favor here."

"Oh all right, as you say."

"Thank you very much."

   I felt a bit of salt on my tongue and then realized that I was crying. Syaoran is going out with Kinomoto? Even after such a long while I still can't get used to the fact that Syaoran and her…Why am I kidding myself? Syaoran will go on the date with Sakura tonight, probably accompanied by Tomoyo and Eriol; why else then he would say I didn't get "invited"? It has got to be a double date or something. But come to think of it, I don't really care. I will too entertain myself by staring at this beautiful yellowish wall, which I hate-I mean love…See? That helps. I am feeling better and better, and better and…I am still crying…and I feel awful…and helpless…

   THATS IT! ~You can say it again…**that is it** with my life~ NO!NO!NO! You are going to be happy from now on Meilin Li!~ I don't want to, I can't…not without Syaoran…~ Forget about him! There are billions of guys out there, Syaoran is not the center of universe!~  Yes he is~ No, he is not! Forget him! You deserve to have some happiness.~ Do I? ~ Oh, of course you do, dummy.~ Hey, don't go ***dummy*** on me, we are both the same person. ~ And a dumb one too, ~ Shut up!~ You shut up! ~ No, you shut up!~  SHUT THE HELL UP YOUSELF!~ Okay, I will shut up.~ See? You are so weak…~ I am, so what? ~ So what? Stop feeling sorry for yourself right now!~ And do what? ~ HAVE FUN! ~ How?…~ I don't know…hey! You could go to that carnival thingy! ~ No, I can't. ~ Why's that? ~ ……~ You feel obligated to Syaoran somehow, don't you?~ …Yes ~ Then stop, it's not like you are his wife. ~ You…mean just…stop…and have fun? Just like that?…~ Uh, Yeah!~ I don't know about this…~ Don't worry sis, trust me tonight, I will help you to have a great time, after all we are one body of Meilin Li…~ Maybe you are right, maybe we should go to that "Carnival of Magic"…~ That's a deal!…………Oh, I am talking to myself again, how pathetic am I? 

  But still, I could go to that carnival…Well, I would have a great time and I would have fun and I would forget everything…and I would forget about *him* for a while. All right then, I WILL go there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_     Six, forty five o'clock._

  I heard a quiet footsteps in the hallway and a fright took me. There was a quiet knock on my door.

  "Mistress Li, your dinner is ready." Oh, it's Wei, I can't let him know, it'll just cause more problems. Wei barely let Syaoran go on his date with Kinomoto, I can imagine what Wei will say to me…

  "Thank you Wei, but I'm not hungry." I said through the closed door.

  "You won't eat your dinner, Mistress?"

  "Well…I umm, I sorta feeling dizzy today, I think I will take a rest for rest for the evening." 

  "Oh, you are not feeling well, Mistress? Can I bring you something?"

  "No!…I mean thanks, but no thanks. I will manage. I don't think that a training practice would be good for me today, Wei."

  "All right, Mistress Li, take a rest and I hope you'll get better. If you need something, just call me."

  "Okay, thank you."

 Whohoo, thank goodness he didn't come into my room, otherwise Wei would see that I'm everything but sick. The dress I picked suits me; well, at least I think so. 

  The dress I'm wearing is pretty, it's long and sparkly. It reaches the floor, and I feel a bit uncomfortable because of that, afraid that I will fall eventually. This gown contains red, dark blue and while colors, and the material is what pleases me the most. Atlas is my favorite material, and my dress is made of it!

   To be honest, I fell like a princess, a movie star, or a Cinderella in this dress. I didn't actually plan on buying this, but my Mother insisted that I should buy it. So I did, and I don't regret a thing. I think It'll be a bit cold for me though – this dress doesn't have sleeves, it only has two red strings coming up my shoulders. That's fine with me, because I can stand cold much better than heat.  

   And then there's makeup. I didn't put too much of it, because I don't really like lots of make up, and my hair is done Chinese style, with two lone hair strings hanging down my face. 

  Honestly, I feel a bit better right now. The pain I call "Syaoran" is slowly going away, but not all of it. It doesn't matter how much I'll try, I will never be able forget his amber gaze… 

   Suddenly, the letter was glowing again. I glanced at the clock: Seven PM, right on time. The letter quickly flew up to the middle of the room, slightly startling me. A gentle breeze of magic blew toward me and the letter turned into a blue cloud widening in its sizes. At last, the blue cloud formed a portal, which I was supposed to go into. Scary, very scary, but so interesting!

   Carefully, with small steps, I went through this "door-like" portal to the Carnival dimension.

    TO BE CONTINUED………

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:****Foo…I am so tired writing this chapter, you have no idea. But I wanted to bring the best to you, and I hope that I did. A bit obvious, isn't it? The storyline. I bet ¾ of you already know what will happen next. But I just wanted to write this particular story idea, and I dearly hope that I did not waste my time. I can only hope that anyone reads it. If you already reviewed  the fic once, please do it again! Please! I beg you! **

**_                                                                                           Sincerely, cardcaptor girl!_**


	3. Chapter 3

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**  AUTHOR'S NOTES: _Hello everybody! Okay people it's time to learn some RUSSIAN!!!!!!!! And since I – am your little Russian friend, I will be your mentor as well:_**

  **_Okay, now the first word I want you to learn is "Privet!", which means "Hi!"_**

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**_ So, in our little lesson, we learn:_**

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**_  Privet = Hi (Hello)_**

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**_Disclaimer: No, I don't own anything from Card Captor Sakura…like you didn't know that…_**

**______________________**

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**_Xiao, my favorite MeiLi author!!! You know that you are very-very-very good with MeiLi????? DO YOU KNOW THAT?????? Well, if you don't – then go read your stories. (~_^) Thanks, really. You were my inspiration for this story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

**_____________________________**

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**_ Now, what's up with the story: This chapter you'll like, I promise. It has a lot of new feelings, which Meilin will be experiencing as well as- …but lets not get in the way of the story, shall we?_**

**__________________________**

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**                       FATE'S PLAY**

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**Chapter: 3**

   The halls of the magnificent…something, (she wasn't sure whether it was a building or something else for that matter) were brightly lit up with golden candlelight. There were candles and more candles, lots of them. There were several big ball rooms, each one larger than the other. She noted there were also lots of balconies spread along the windows, with silverfish curtains covering a beautiful sight of the nature spread beneath each little terrace.

    It was truly a beautiful thing to watch: pretty women accompanied by their recently made cavaliers; lots of couples already dancing under a sweet flow of classical music; and then of course there was an orchestra - a dozen gorgeous players, playing just about the sweetest and most overwhelming music ever.

   But she didn't enjoy those things a bit, she have already regretted coming here the second she stepped through the portal.

                                                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  I don't know what is up with human race – we first make a decision, only to reject it the next minute. I mean, how dumb is that? I wanted to go here, I wanted to dance here, I wanted to get away from home…from Syaoran, but…I can't…I just cannot stop thinking about him! Now, how obsessed am I? In love, aren't you girl?

   Yes I am; but I'm not supposed to be obsessed with him until the point when I need Syaoran more than oxygen!

   Oh well…I'm here already and I might as well enjoy my miserable life; I can't go back home right now anyways: the portal back home won't open probably until the end of the carnival. Well, that's just *great*…

   My dress is really starting to annoy me as each second goes by. Come to think of it: the dress is made of red, dark blue and white colors, as I mentioned earlier and now the awful realization hits me: I LOOK LIKE AN AMERICAN FLAG DAMN IT! Could I look anymore pathetic? Well yeah, of course I'm not *actually* wearing an American flag (although it probably wouldn't make any difference if I wore any), but the dress is so…let's cut to the chase: I hate it.         

    Anyways, as miserable as I can get tonight: I might as well enjoy the wonderful weather outside on the balcony. With that thought I made my way towards the silverfish curtains, which were covering one of the many terraces. And so I walked and walked trying my hardest to ignore the stupid dress I am wearing…

    Ah, the beautiful view out of the balcony window! I am not sure now, if this kind of magnificent nature exists in the real world…

    I silently stood near the window, enjoying my survey, slightly taking support of the little puffy couch near me, when…someone's *something* descended on my buttocks!

    "Aaaaaah!" I winced roughly and turned around only to see a young man of my age also looking startled.

   "Eeeeh! Gomen!"  Oh he is certainly looking for trouble! 

   "What a hell do you think you're doing?" I screamed at him with all the rage I had in me, ignoring the stares from the people around us. What a nerve he must have to put his hand on my butt in the middle of the ball?!

   "Oh…I…um…I think…you…I…it happened by accident! I didn't mean to put my hand on your-"

   "What?! Are you crazy to hit on a girl in that manner in the middle of the ball?" Some nerve indeed.

   "Wait, I wasn't hitting on you- I was just, I can expla-"

   "Save it! You pervert! Get away from me!" I roared I agony and quickly paced away, but then I came back…only to give this perverted creep a loud slap on the cheek. Right then and there I felt a little better; and then I turned around on the fullest speed my dress and shoes were permitting me and sped away somewhere far, far away, where nobody would see me cry.

                                               ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   Several tears spilled down onto the pearly-white marble floor. So, I lost my dignity already and everyone was staring at me; all because of that creep, that pervert, that stupid god-damned son of a bitch! My evening was miserable enough without his appearance!

   As I stand here, on one of the balconies and look outside at the dark blue sky, slightly covered in stars, I wonder if I'll be like this forever, if I'll be so lonely forever, if I'll grow old alone, never have kids, or grandchildren…What if people are wrong? What if there isn't such a thing as soul mate? What if there's no such a thing as two people fated to be for one another? What if some people were meant to be alone forever? What if I'll have to cry like that until the rest of my pathetic life? But I don't want that! No I don't! I want someone! I want Syaoran…

   So I cry again, it's the only way to let all of my emotions flow out. 

   I look at the stars. They are so pretty, so clever, and they are never lonely. Stars are always all together, in a bunch, so that neither of them would have to cry, like me. 

   I remember once, Clow Reed wrote in one of his books: 'Stars are like people, they have a soul and feelings, and energy. The stars are always meant to guide people in their life journeys, reminding them that no matter how lost you are - you'll always find your way. Each human has his own star, the one which shines only for this person, to guide him…' Clow Reed was a smart man, he knew principles of life, but he never met me. I am the abnormal case, I don't apply to books: no magic power, and there's no star to guide me through life. 

                                                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  It has been about two hours since I arrived to this carnival and three quarters of an hour since I've been standing on the balcony, watching the fake stars, in the fake world, all of which is made with a powerful magic of the powerful clans. I must admit, the party is good, there are about five hundred people spread across several ball rooms, all dancing and enjoying their happy careless lives.  _(Olya / cardcaptor girl's notes: I love writing angsting sooooooo much! (^0^))_

  I felt kind of thirsty, and then remembered that I haven't had a drink for at least five hours. With that thought I was on my way out of the balcony and into the ball room, where the graceful waiters were offering thirsty people their drinks.

  As I was going out into the brightly lit ball room, which was much warmer than the outside, I felt my high-hill shoe step on something particularly soft and puffy and…

  "Stupid dress!" Was the only thing I managed to scream out before I tripped backwards, falling very slowly (or so I thought), as in a movie scene. That is it, the final straw! This dress is going to the underworld for doing this to me! I should have never worn it in the first place! But, to my surprise, the fall wasn't as hurtful, as I imagined it would be; in fact it was rather disturbingly pleasant and to my bigger surprise, it appeared that someone was holding me, supporting my weight from hitting the floor.

   The person behind me was about to help me on regaining my balance, when I turned around only to see-

  "Ahhh! It's you again!!"

  "Yes, it's me." The Pervert replied, still holding me in the same position, with my body only one and a half feet away from the ground.  

  "What do you THINK you're doing?"

  "Uhh…preventing you from falling, I suppose…" And that's when I noticed, to my horror that his hands were firmly attached to my bare back. I didn't care if he was holding me like that only to support my body – I knew one thing: he was a pervert and he was probably enjoying every minute of touching me. And that's no good.

  "Let go of me you jerk!" I struggled a little bit, but the Pervert was holding me firmly in his grip.

  "But," he tensed a little bit.

  "Not but's! Let got of me!!"

  "Oh but-"

  "LET GO!"  I cried, and before I was able to react, his hands left my body and I fell down on the floor. Okay…maybe I shouldn't have screamed for him to let go so quickly…                                                

  *Thud*; and I hit the floor. It didn't hurt much, but it was sure embarrassing to know that people around me were staring, and even though no one laughed, I could feel them all making fun of me; silently enjoying my failure.

   I glared at the Pervert with all of my wrath. He was not smiling, although he *did* look at me with menacing sympathy.

 "Well…you *told* me to let you go…" The Pervert said as a matter of factly, stretching out his hand to help me up. I wasn't able to hold it in anymore and I felt my eyes water. I also felt the incredible heat on my cheeks. Oh, this is so embarrassing!

  Without saying a word I helped myself up only to slip again on my dress. Did I mention I hate my dress? Well, in case I didn't: I HATE IT!!!

   I tried to stand up again…yes, the keyword for this is *tried*, but I wasn't able complete my 'stand up mission' without ripping the lower piece of my dress apart…

  Oh crap. 

  And now…I look like a 'Destiny's Child' girl from the 'Survivor' video.

  By now, my vision was completely blurred out by the tears. I was able to see only people's figures without a clear detail. Yes, I was most definitely crying, and now sobbing. What surprised me the most, was the fact that no one in the public around me was going to help me up. 

   Somehow I managed to get up again, almost loosing the balance because of my stupid shoes; and then I fled. I didn't know where, and frankly – I didn't give a damn. The need to get out of this horrible place took over me, as I started searching through my little purse for that damn letter…but it wasn't there, and then, remembering that the letter was long gone from time the portal opened – more tears streamed down my face. Great! I can't even get out of here until the end of the carnival!

   Sometime later my eyes bothered to take a notice of where I've been. On one of the balconies, of course. Probably the last little terrace, the one where no one would trouble themselves to look for me. Good.

                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   I sighed for the hundredth time this evening, as I felt some time pass by me gradually. My watch unmistakably showed 10.14 pm. How sad…I must be missing the biggest event of my life now, but to think of it: it's not so bad…

  Slowly sliding down the wall to sit on the lustrous marble flooring, I hugged my knees and buried my head into my lap.

  It is so sad.

  It is so depressive.

  But then again - it is so like me…

  I heard soft footsteps coming my way, quiet, cautious, and nervous. I just smirked to myself of what the life can bring me now…  

   "Umm, Hel-" He cleared throat suddenly, causing by head to go up in a quick motion. Oh no. First I thought of saying some kind of a smart remark about his behavior towards me today, but then I decided to be silent and let him say whatever he was going to say to me. "Hello..." The Pervert made another attempt to put me into a chit-chat with him. I, however said nothing. "Listen, I am sorry that I hurt you." He muttered quietly, not making a move; just standing there…and looking at his feet.

   But how could I let this perfect innocent opportunity slip away from my sarcasm?

   "Awe! Isn't it the *sweetest thing* I heard from anyone yet?" My deep dark sarcasm showed off itself flawlessly. The Pervert gazed down on me guiltily. Oh! It looked almost as if he was really sorry! How cute. 

  "C-can I…umm can I sit with…you?" His voice was barely above the whisper, so quiet that I could scarcely hear his sayings. The music outside the balcony played lightly, but it almost cut over the sound of his voice.

   My first instinct was to send the boy to hell, as far as possible – away from me, but then I considered my options and chose to let him sit near by; but not close enough to wake up his pervert behavior again of course.

   Softly shrugging my shoulders I turned my head away to the side and stared at the glossy blue wall. He understood the signal of my permission, and awkwardly paced up to the balcony fence-wall and sat to the left of me, which where I was sitting. I turned my head back to face him and made sure he was assembled a good distance away from me. He was about three feet away. Good.

   "Just make sure you don't make a move on me again, or I'll swear I'll-"   

   "I, no. I wasn't ever making a move on you! Please unders-"

   "I understand it perfectly well, and I am warning you – I know Karate pretty well and I am sure you have no wish in dealing with me." I said calmly, almost sweetly, but also dangerously. 

   "All of the members of Rinohu, Li, and Yoturu clans know martial arts. I do too, so I am happy to say I'm not really afraid of you." The boy replied just as evenly.  

   "Oh puh-lease! I don't even have to move my finger to-" Suddenly I stopped cold. His hand was carefully grasping mine in a tender manner. He didn't move a bit from where he was sitting, although I was scared he would move closer than I wanted him to. But he didn't make any motion; he just kept gaping at my hand, he kept holding it in his. I desperately wanted to yell at him, but didn't dare to open my mouth. Somehow I felt paralyzeed by his touch. The feel of the foreign skin against mine wasn't painstakingly disgusting; instead, it was rather…pleasant?

    I think we both gulped noisily at the same time. Finally he looked up at me with a determined gaze, which I felt all over my body. His staring would hold permanently, if I didn't look up.  

   "Look," he said "I never meant to hit on you as you thought, it was just an accident, please believe me…" he smiled at me warmly…too warmly…oh no.

   "It didn't exactly look too accidental to me when you put your hand on…" I didn't like the sound of my voice, it was husky and I had no idea why. "But, that will be alright, just don't do it again." Suddenly I felt speechless once more.

   "I'm sorry I did what I did." He said gently, still holding my hand and squeezing it lightly.

   "…Yeah…" my voice was barely above the whisper this time. The boy looked at me intently for several moments. He moved closer.

   I didn't know what to do. Should I run? Should I move away? Should I slap him? Should I…kiss him?...

   For the first time I studied his face attentively. He had this dark auburn, although it was more like light-chocolate-brown locks. His eyes were matching color, with emotion written all over. But…surely Syaoran is much better looking than this guy!

   The boy moved even closer, study my face with interest, when his gaze fell upon my lips. He didn't look up at me anymore, he just kept bending down to my face, and I waited – not sure why I was allowing that pervert do this to me. Through my half closed eyes, I felt him hesitate, but only for a moment. And then…

   As his lips were about to attach to mine, the only thing I could think about was Syaoran. Syaoran's eyes, Syaoran's hair, Syaoran's lips kissing me lightly cautiously, as if for the first time in his life. Syaoran's arms, Syaoran's breath…and I…don't even…remember…what Syaoran looks like… The damn Carnival spell! It erased the memories of people's faces! It is good that it's not for too long, because I don't ever want to forget Syaoran Li's features…

   I felt his wanting to pull away, but he didn't; he just kept caressing my lips with his, tenderly, sweetly. His hands reached the crook of my neck and behind my back to pull me closer. I didn't mind though, well…maybe a little bit, but I was secretly enjoying the moment. And he knew it. Bastard. It's all his fault. I didn't care if I responded with a passion enough to make me breathless, I didn't care if my hands tangled themselves in his hair…I just…was enjoying my first kiss ever with a complete stranger.

   Maybe it was better that way: I didn't know him, he didn't know me. The two people making out just for the pleasure of it. Simple and easy.

   But…Syaoran…I love him, I am betraying him. Although, come to think of it: this is not really a betrayal – considering he is out on a date with his 'cherry blossom'. But still…

   "Wait…" I mumbled into his mouth. I can't do it, not like this…Syaoran, I love him, and this stranger, even a pervert like him doesn't deserve it... "Wait…please…" This time he stopped and drew away blushing none the less than me. I looked up at him and our surroundings…clear blue sky, full of stars, how romantic. Suddenly I wanted to kiss him again…but Syaoran…I can't.

   "S-sorry…" he muttered and looked down at the floor. I was just staring at him, studying him closely, still very aware of our nearness.

   "No, no, don't be." He looked up with a hopeful look. I half smiled. "It's…it's just me…it's just that I-… you don't deserve this…" A look of astonishment passed his facial features.

   "What?"

   "I-…I was thinking of…" I gulped loudly, "of another person…while…while…" I was sure that the blush was showing itself off all over my face. "Sorry…" suddenly I saw a hurt within his eyes. I shouldn't have said that, I shouldn't have confessed that I was thinking about Syaoran, while kissing him. Suddenly, to my surprise, the boy smiled at me warmly.

  "You have someone?" He just kept smiling sadly, as he slightly pulled away and held my hands on my lap with his own.  

  "Not exactly." I replied truthfully.

  "Does he know you like him?" 

  "Yes."

  "And?" He inquired, biting his lower lip softly.

  "And Sya-, I mean this person…he has…he likes…another…person." I sighed looking down at his hands and squeezed one of them.

  "Oh…he must be very stupid and the one he's dating is an ugly bitch." I chuckled, and his lips curved a smile of their own.

  "No," I looked up to meet his gaze upon me. "He is…smart and beautiful. She is…well, she is a perfect one. He deserves her fair and square." 

  "As you say, but I still think he's an idiot not to be with you." I sniggered and he did too.

  "Well, at least I made you laugh…" the amber eyed boy commented with a pleased tone. As relaxed as he looked – I still felt he was a bit nervous.

  "Thanks. I must say I am not quite myself today." I noted to myself aloud.

  "Is anybody? I mean: for all I know we could be friends, or just know each other." He said thoughtfully.

  "I don't think so. I am very sure I don't know you and never met you." I stated.

  "You don't know that, because I too act a bit differently today, unlike my usual self."

  "You mean you're not your usual pervert self in the real world?" 

  "I'm not a pervert even here…" he said slightly annoyed. "Besides, we might have seen each other before – you don't know, the spell erased the memories of all people you and I know…so-"

  "Oh believe me, I don't know you. It's a shame we can't tell each other our names though."

  "Yes, it's too bad…but hey, we could make up our names, so that we could call each other something." His smile started to melt my heart away again. Why? Why was I feeling this way about a complete stranger? And besides…it's not like I would ever see him again after this evening…

  "I think it's a good idea, call me…umm…call me…Catherine."

  "Ooh! Why such name?" The boy asked.

  "I don't know, uh…maybe because…well, I always wanted an English name."

  "That's nice, Catherine."

  "Thank you, and I'll call you a… Pervert." I chucked and he seemed to blush a little.

  "I told you already, it was an accident." The boy said with a bit of frustration.

  "Yeah, whatever."

  "But please, can I have DECENT name?" he used The Puppy Eyes on me. How could he? How come it always works when male kind does that?

  "Alright, alright! Then I'll call you…umm…Vladimir!" I said and watched his very baffled expression.

  "What a hell is that?"

  "It's a name for you for tonight." I stated calmly.

  "Oh come on! Vladimir? Why can't I choose a GOOD name for myself BY myself?"

  "Because I said so."

  "Oh."

  "Yes." And I smiled, as I saw him sigh. It was so fun watching him! I hoped he didn't get it in a wrong way – I didn't mean to be bossy."

 "Okay, but…why can't I have a normal Chinese name?" 

 "Because I always wondered what it would be like to talk to 'Vladimir'."

                                       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    The night was going peacefully for me, as well as for 'Vladimir'. As I found out, he was good at martial arts too and he knew magic. But of course – he was a member of one of those clans, and so he had to know magic. I kept glancing at my clock with a slight unhappiness. Vladimir has informed me that the Carnival would end by midnight, and I made a joke about Cinderella. Then he kissed me again lightly.

   Strangely enough I felt a lot more comfort in speaking to him, that I ever had with Syaoran. It was so different with Vladimir, he was so easy to talk to, and I felt like I knew him not just one and a half hours, but my entire life.

   We even danced. It was actually my idea, but he didn't seem to mind. First he did mind, and explained me that he couldn't dance very well, however I told him that the dancing was as easy as martial arts. After that I taught him to dance a little, and then he was so good at it, that I could barely keep up with his waltzing moves. 

   "What time is it?" he asked me for the second time.

   "It's eleven forty five…" I said sadly and he put his right arm around my shoulder, as we watched the nature view from the balcony. "Many people are already waiting for portals to open."

  "I don't want to part with you, Catherine…" His eyes were locked in mine, as he stood with me in half-embrace. Then the strange laugh escaped his lips, and I looked up at him confused.

  "What?" I said, as I watched his expression go blank for a second, and afterward he laughed some more. My quizzical look made Vladimir stop and beam at me.

  "It's just that…I never thought that I would ever be able to…meet someone like you…I mean you're, you are so beautiful." He declared, caressing my face with his hands gently. My eyes widened. No one ever told me those words! No one EVER told me I was beautiful.

  "T-thanks." I blushed.

  "I feel strange…I feel like I don't…don't want to let you go, because I'll never see you…" That was when I realized quite suddenly what was going on: we will never see each other again! No! I want to be with him! I hugged him so quickly that he was left gasping for air, surprised. I was too surprised and also…confused…

  "I think," I suddenly felt my eyes go warm and misty. "I th-think…that…I am falling in-" My confession was rudely interrupted by a sound of the bell ringing, which meant there would be another bell-ringing in a couple of minutes and then all of the portals would open for people to go home. The bell ringing brought some more tears to my eyes; unwillingly I pulled away and looked at him intently, receiving the same kind of gaze from Vladimir.

  "I-I am, I think… what I feel is, I'm falling-" he then interrupted me, as he tightened our embrace, watching my every move. 

  "You're about to…to say something you might regret later….and then we-"

  "Might never see each other again." I finished his sentence sorrowfully. "I know, but I feel that if I won't say it now – I'll never have a chance to say it again." The tear ran mercilessly down my check, revealing every single feeling I had in me. He wiped the salty thing off.

   Suddenly a light appeared in his hand and he said some incantations on the unknown language, after which the glow on his hand lessened and the only thing was left was…the most beautiful necklace I ever saw! It was pure diamond of average size, polished in a heart-shaped manner.

   I thought I was going to faint right there and then, when he offered to put the necklace on my neck with the words: 'It's for you'. I just stood there speechless, soundless, and seeing this he said:

  "What, you don't like it?"  

  "What?... No! I love it!...But how did you…how did you…"

  "I'm a clan member; I have magic, just like you." He said as a matter of factly. I decided that it was for the best not to tell him I didn't have magic, so I smiled kindly in return, as he turned me around slowly and locked the necklace about my neck. It felt so good to sense a cold silver chain on my neck, accompanied by his breathing. I turned around slowly and blushed, as he took my face and cradled it hands. I was about to say something, when he, as if reading my thoughts spoke before me.

  "Catherine, you are, I never met anyone like you…you are sweet and good heavens, you are beautiful, you don't take crap from people and you are the smartest person I've met…I just wish…I just wish I didn't have to let you go just now…" All of a sudden, his face became very serious. "I feel…maybe I'm wrong and I know I'll regret this later, but…somehow I feel like I…" he swallowed with difficulty. "Love you…I feel like I love you and please don't think it's crazy!"

   I gasped, even though I was quite expecting this, I was still petrified in a good way. He just…he just confessed his love to me! After knowing me for only a couple of hours! How is it possible?

   "Is love making people's heart ache?" I asked, mostly to myself. He was astonished by my out-of-place inquiry.

   "Sometimes." He whispered.

   "Is it love when you feel you want to be with the person and never part? Is it love when you want to kiss this person for eternity, and the truest moment of happiness in your life is when you are never tired of watching this person?" Why was I suddenly asking these questions? I knew the answers, I knew what love was!

  "Yes, it is love." 

  "Then that is what I'm feeling, when I see you." Vladimir smiled, releasing air through his nose, and then he whispered:

   "Good." After which the boy kissed me deeply covering his arms around my body tightly. I responded just as passionately to his kisses, and for the first time, Syaoran's essence was completely gone out of my mind. Syaoran was forgotten, gone. There was another. Someone who I loved and who loved me in return for the first time in my life…even if it would be just for tonight.

   Our kissing was once again interrupted by the last warning bell and this time we both knew what it meant. I tried my best not to keep crying, but I failed miserably.  

  Suddenly Cinderella came into my mind. Life is funny and I hate it. I just lived a half of a damned fairy tale! Unfortunately, my life is not a fairy tale, and my prince charming will never find me to make me his princess-wife forever and ever.

   The boy's look came across at me, his hands standing firmly on my shoulders and I thought of killing myself for his wonderfully beautiful amber eyes.

   "Listen, just remember-" his voice became a bit shaky, as we heard the last people running to their portals. "Remember to keep me in your heart, even if…even if…you will never remember my face, let the necklace I gave you always remind you of me…"

  "Yes, of course, I will never take it off…But I don't have anything to give to you…" 

  "It's too late, but I'll remember you somehow." Vladimir said, as he looked around, seeing the portal, my portal open about twelve feet away from us. "You have to go." He said strictly.

  "But I-"

  "Go!" I listened to him, and half ran to the portal. Then I stopped for a second and dashed back to him, hugging him with all of my power. He did the same. Subsequently I quickly pulled away.

  "I love you, whoever you are..." I said quietly, ignoring my endless tears.

  "I love you, dear Catherine." His lips touched my forehead lightly. He pulled me away from our embrace, as it seemed to be with the speed of light, and pushed me toward the portal.

  Forced, I walked to the entrance and looked back, only to catch a glance of Vladimir's back facing me. As I was half the way of walking through the portal, I watched another portal open, only for him.

  "Goodbye." I said quietly, but loud enough for him to hear. He didn't respond, he just kept standing there, his back toward me. That was the last thing I saw before I blacked out. The last time I saw Vladimir.

                                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   My awakening was sudden, and if I wasn't trained in martial arts, I would fall down this instant. And *if* I would fall, I would awake the whole house.

   Not even bothering to change into a nightgown, I dropped myself on my bed and closed my eyes, trying to relax the intense beating of my heart. I never wanted to get out of my stupid half-destroyed dress, since it was one of tiny reminders that this night has happened for real, that it wasn't just a dream.

  I was fully aware now that Syaoran's face features came back to my memory…and as it was supposed to turn out…Vladimir's features were gone…forever.

 I tried to make myself sleep and I succeeded after a while, clutching my hand onto the necklace *he* gave me.

  I won, I was in love once more, with the person I couldn't have, again…

  TO BE CONTINUED…

   **Olya / cardcaptor girl's notes: _If you are reading it and you better be reading it: please leave a sensible review. The words like: "Nice, I like it, that was cool." Are not very acceptable, so please don't write those things, because they won't tell anything to me about your opinion on the story._**

**_  I worked my ass off for this chapter and I think it was the best thing I wrote yet. What do you think? _**

**_ Xiao? You like it? I hope I didn't shatter you beliefs in me._**

**_ And yes, I a will be changing my pen name soon. For now it's Olya / cardcaptor girl, but soon it will be just Olya. In the search engine search only for Olya, only this name will give you results to my author's page._**

**_ Please keep in mind that I worked very hard on what I just wrote, so please be responsible and write a review._**

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**_ AC Ishida, how was it? I am expecting a good Hiead x Ikhny story from you soon. (^_^) _**

                                                                   **Sincerely, Olya / cardcaptor girl**


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